Synopsis: Sprite and Figwit went on a shopping spree, and Legolas mourned at the spoiling of his first
ever set of bow and arrows, and at the fact that all his fangirls had been dyed urple. Sprite then stole Legolas' never- ending
supply of arrows, and The Author forgot to thank Aldawen of Rivendell for the gifts she sent Legolas.
Legolas: 18 Figwit: 18
"YES!! I've caught up with pretty-boy!!!!" *does a little dance*
Author: "Hmmm...things are getting
Figwit: *hugs Sprite in his joy*
*curls up in a fetal position*
Author: "I'm begining to worry about what this is doing to the Elfie-boys'
egos... Oh well. Let's get on to Round Four."
sighed as he looked at all his urple fangirls. What a tragic loss. There just had to be some way to
fix them! He'd get Lord Elrond to look into that. Meanwhile he was stuck with urple fangirls. Legolas felt on the verge of
But wait! Who was that, smilling sweetly at him from the edge of the crowd? It was one of his fangirls, but...she
wasn't urple! "Oh, sweetest of all possible joys!" cried Legolas. "You aren't urple!"
"Of course I'm
not," Aldawen of Rivendell said. "I'm much too smart to take an urple bath. And I don't think it's fair that Figwit should
get to have Sprite to hang out with him as his Kindly Reader. So can I be your Kindly Reader? I did, after all, send you all
those arrows and hair brushes and mischief-making kits."
"That was you?" cried Legolas joyfully. Aldawen
"Hey, what about me?" cried Sake. "I'm a Kindly Reader too!"
"Um..." said Legolas. "Call me
back when you're not urple." And Legolas led Aldawen away.
Meanwhile, Figwit and Sprite went on another mission. They
snuck into Legolas' room and Sprite sniggered at all the lace and pink ruffles that adorned everything.
"What a priss!"
she giggled, glad that she was finally talking and for once not fainting.
"Definately," Figwit agreed, and Sprite had
to look awat so that she didn't faint again.
They picked the lock on Legolas' wardrobe and took out all of the clothes.
kind of an idiot locks his wardrobe?" asked Sprite.
"This kind," said Figwit. "And I only think he's locked it since
he dyed all of my clothes."
Figwit and Sprite left Legolas' room and headed for Bilbo's room, carrying all of Legolas'
clothes. When they got to Bilbo's room, they knocked on the door. "Come in!" said Bilbo. They did.
Figwit said. "Legolas gave me all of his old, unfashionable clothes that he doesn't want anymore, and asked me to give them
to you to do something with."
"Melpomaen," said Bilbo, using Figwit's proper, Elvish name, "you know I don't wear Elf
"Legolas was thinking you could make something clever out of them," explained Figwit. "Like pillows or cutains."
a lovely idea!" cried Bilbo.
"Good-bye, Bilbo!" said Figwit as he and Sprit left.
"Where are we going now?"
asked Sprite as they walked down the hall.
"To put a lock on my wardrobe," replied Figwit.
Legolas and Aldawen
returned to Legolas' room soon after Figwit and Sprite left.
"I'm going to change my clothes," Legolas said. "I noticed
a speck of dust on this set." Aldawen nodded and reluctently looked away. Suddenly Legolas screamed, and Adawen whirled around.
she cried. "What is it?"
"My clothes are...are gone!" cried Legolas. It was true. The wardrobe was
"What could have happened?" wondered Aldawen, wide-eyed.
"Figwit!" muttered Legolas. "He was behind this,
I know it!" Legolas and Aldaewn stormed out of Legolas' room, in search of Figwit.
They searched all through Rivendell,
until they came to Bilb's room. Legolas knocked on the door. "Come in!" cried Bilbo, and they did.
Bilbo when he saw they Elf. "I just want to thank you so much for your donation!"
"What are you talking about?" asked
"Figwit came by a little while ago with those old clothes for me," Bilbo said. Then he gestured around his
room, and Legolas saw the patchwork quilt, the curtains, the table cloth, the cushions, and the dressing gown, all made out
of Legolas's clothes.
"FIGWIT!!" shouted Legolas, and stormed out of Bilbo's room, Aldawen fast behind him.
shouted Legolas, bursting into Figwit's room.
"Hello, Legolas," said Figwit pleasently. "Although it really is
polite to knock." Sprite nodded.
Legolas didn't answer. He marched forward and hit Figwit hard in
the back on the head. "Hey!" cried Sprite. Figwit looked up.
"Why is everything so blurry?" he asked, and Sprite, Legolas,
and Aldawen gasped.
"Figwit..." said Sprite, her lower lip trembling, "do you wear...contact lenses?"
said Figwit, but it was true. Legolas had hit Figwit so hard that his green contact lenses had fallen out, revealing sickly
yellow-ish eyes. But quick as a wink, Sprite spotted Figwit's contacts on the floor and grabbed them, before Aldawen had a
chance to crush them with her feet.
"Here they are, Figgy," Sprite said, handing the Elf his contacts. "Don't worry,
I still love you."
"Uh, thanks," said Figwit, putting them back in. "You see Legolas? You didn't win, for we have stolen
all of your arrows."
"WHAT??" cried Legolas. He and Aldawen raced back to Legolas' room, and sure enough, his arrows
"NOOOOOOOOO!" cried Legolas, and broke down into sobs.
Winner of Round Four: Figwit
Many thanks to Tintalle HalfHolbytla and GreyLadyBast for their ideas that were used in this chapter, and thanks to Aldawen
of Rivendell and Sprite for being such willing and enthusiastic fictims.