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Chapter Three
The Elfie-Boys
Home
Acknowledgements
About the Elfie-Boys
The Others
The Stories
Legolas vs. Figwit: The Ultimate Battle
The Elfie-Boys and Their BIG Egos
Legolas, Figwit, and the Liquor Cabinet of DOOM
Rogue's Gallery
Guestbook
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Contact Me

In which Elrond is hung over and Legolas gets cheered up.

Sprite and Figwit searched Rivendell high and low for Legolas, but, alas, their search turned up nothing.

"Figgy, come on!" Sprite said. "Let's go look in his bedroom, I'm sure that's where he'll be!"

"But why would he be there?" Figwit asked, following his fangirl down the hall. Sprite ignored him.

They arrived at Legolas's room, and Figwit knocked on the door. "Hellooooo?" he called. "Anyone in there?"

"What?" Legolas' voice came from within. But it was different; flat and toneless.

"Ha ha, I was right!" Sprite cried triumphantly. Figwit said nothing, as he was feeling very foolish.

"What do you want?" Legolas repeated, in the same tone of voice.

"Legolas, can we come in?" Figwit asked.

"If your names are Aldawen and Sake, the answer is no," Legolas said. "Same goes if your names happen to be Elladan and Elrohir."

"Well, our names are Sprite and Figwit." Sprite told him. "Can we come in?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Legolas said, and Sprite pushed open the door.

Legolas was sitting on his bed, staring at the rug. The floor around him was littered with Fine Elvish Wine bottles, and Legolas' face was rather flushed. He looked up at them as they came in.

"Legolas," Sprite said sternly, "have you been drinking?"

"Only a little..." Legolas said, looking at the wine bottles on the floor, and then at the one in his hand. "Anyways, it doesn't have the same effect on Elves as it does on mortals. Doesn't make us as drunk..."

"What about Lord Elrond?" Sprite asked, having seen the drunken Elf Lord when she and Figwit had been searching Rivendell.

"He's half human," Legolas said. "Duh."

"We just came to see if you were ok." Figwit said awkwardly.

"Ok?" Legolas said. "Ok? How can I be ok? I'm ugly, didn't you hear her? How can I be ok if I'm ugly??"

"Oh Legolas, you're not ugly!" Sprite said, sitting down on the bed beside him. "Aldawen and Sake just... aren't themselves."

"The understatement of this Age," said Legolas. "I can't believe the Twins would do that to me. I thought they were my pals!"

"Didn't you see their faces?" Figwit asked. "They totally did not want to be in that situation. I don't think the Twins had anything to do with it."

"Whatever." Legolas said dejectedly.

"Look, I'll go get them so that they can tell you themselves!" Figwit said. "Be back in a few." He left the room.

"I'm sorry this happened, Legolas," Sprite said, putting her hand on his arm. "I can't help but feel a little guilty since nothing happened to me."

"It's ok," Legolas said. "Don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault..."

"Legolas... if it makes you feel any better..." Sprite leaned over and whispered something into Legolas' ear. As she spoke, Legolas's face brightened, and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"But don't tell anyone!" Sprite said when she had finished. "Promise!"

"Oh, I won't, I swear!" Legolas said, looking much more cheerful.

Figwit came back then. "The Twins are still cornered in the courtyard." he reported. "Glorfindel's trying to help them, but he's laughing so hard that he really isn't getting anywhere... What are you smiling about?" he added, seeing Legolas's cheerful face. Sprite got up and left, muttering some indistinct excuse.

"Oh, Sprite and I were talking..." Legolas said.

"About what?" Figwit asked warily.

"Oh, just... Nah, I promised I wouldn't tell."

"What?" Figwit pressed. "What did she tell you???" Legolas just shook his head. Frustrated, Figwit went to look for Sprite.

He found her sitting on a veranda near Legolas' room, looking a bit sheepish.

"What did you tell Legolas?" Figwit demanded.

"Oh, it was nothing..." Sprite said, avoiding his gaze.

"Sprite, are you hiding something?" asked Figwit, gently raising her head to meet his eyes.

"Of course I am!" Sprite said, reddening. "Now, just drop it, ok?"

Not wanting to lose his favourite fangirl, Figwit wisely shut up and wandered off somewhere.

Meanwhile, in another part of Rivendell, Elrond had a splitting headache. Being half human, he did get drunk, but being half Elf, he recovered quickly. The hangovers were exactly the same, though.

"Oh, my poor 'ittle head!" he moaned, lying with and icepack on the couch in his study. "Why did I do that?"

"Because you're stupid," Arwen said, rummaging through her father's cupboards. "How do you make that anti-hang over stuff that you made for the girls this morning?"

Elrond got up and looked in the cupboards. After a moment, he pushed some jars aside, took a few out, peered into the cupboard, and put the jars back. As he did this, Arwen heard him utter a very colorful string of Elvish curses.

"Father!" Arwen said, shocked. "What is it??"

"It's not there!" Elrond snapped and flopped back down on the couch with his icepack.

"What's not there?" asked Arwen.

"The ingredients for the anti-hang over potion," Elrond said. "I must have used it up this morning. That makes me very irritable. Go away."

"Father..." Arwen said, shaking her head. She sighed and left. As she closed the door to her father's study, she thought she heard him moan.

A few minutes later, Elladan and Elrohir came racing down the hall. They burst into Elrond's study and slammed the door shut, panting.

"What in the Sam hill?" Elrond said, looking up. "Boys-"

"Father, you have to help us!" Elrohir cried frantically.

"Aldawen and Sake, they're..." Elladan said. "Ai, Eru, it's terrible!!!"

"BOYS!" Elrond shouted, standing up. The twins jumped. "THIS IS MY PRIVATE STUDY AND YOU WILL KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING NEXT TIME! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD??"

"Yes, sir." Elladan muttered.

"But, Father, you have to-" Elrohir said.

"Not now, Elrohir, Daddy has a hang over." Elrond interrupted, settling back down on the couch.

"But Father!" Elrohir said. "You need to make a potion to make Aldawen and Sake stop chasing us!"

"I'm not doing anything that will counter-act something I've already started." Elrond snapped. "Now OUT!" The Twins raced out the door.

"What did he mean by that, I wonder?" Elladan said to his brother.

Before Elrohir could answer, the two of them had to run from Aldawen and Sake, who had snuck up behind them.

In his study, Elrond lay moaning softly on his couch. It was time to put the second part of his plan into action...

After his headache went away, of course.

Chapter Four