"HOW DARE YOU IMPLY SUCH A THING????" screamed Aldawen. "HORRID CHILD OF MORGOTH!!!!"
I didn't know Morgoth had kids!" Sprite said, laughing.
"I AM NOT, AND NEVER EVER WILL BE, AN ELROND
FANGIRL!!!" Aldawen screamed the word "Elrond" particularly loud, as if to emphasize the fact.
"Who's an Elrond fangirl?"
Sake asked accusingly, coming down the hall towards them. She had heard Aldawen screaming and had decided to come and investigate.
"Aldawen isn't, according to her." Sprite said. "I don't know... The way she was trying to get us to not punish Elrond..."
Sprite shook her head as she trailed off, her eyes filled with mischief.
"True enough." Sake said, nodding. "I'd say
she's going over to Elrond's side."
"I AM NOT!!!" Aldawen screamed. "I AM NOT NOT
NOT NOT NOT!! JUST STOP IT!!! I LOVE MY LEGGY AND ELROND IS THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE WORLD!!!"
"She's denying it." Sprite whispered to Sake. "That means it's true." Sake giggled.
"Aldawen," Sake said reasonably, "you should probably stop screaming so you don't lose your voice again. Now run along
and find your Elfie-boy Elrond-"
Aldawen burst into tears. Just then, Legolas came walking down the hallway, his pace
quickening when he saw Aldawen crying. He stopped just behind her.
"What's wrong?" Legolas asked, looking from one
fangirl to another. Sprite and Sake looked at each other guiltily. Aldawen turned and buried her face in Legolas' chest. The
Elf put his arms around her and gently stroked her hair.
"They said I was an... An Elrond fangirl!" sobbed Aldawen.
"I...I... I'm not!"
Legolas looked at Sprite and Sake over Aldawen's head and raised one eyebrow.
Sake burst into a fit of giggles, and Sprite shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "It was just a joke." She said. "It wasn't
meant to really upset her..."
"Well it looks like it did." Legolas said in a stern, yet gentle tone of voice. "I think
the two of you owe Aldawen an apology."
"Eru, he sounds like my kindergarten teacher!" Sake muttered.
Sprite disguised her laughter with a severe coughing fit.
"I'm not an Elrond fangirl!" Aldawen said to Legolas' chest.
"Of course you're not." Legolas soothed, stroking her hair. He stared pointedly at Sprite and Sake.
came forward and put her hand on Aldawen's shoulder. "Aldawen, I'm sorry." She said. "I didn't mean to make you so upset.
I was just having some fun, and I guess I got a bit carried away. Sake and I apologize."
"Uh, yeah." Sake said, coming
to join Sprite. "Yeah, we do."
Aldawen turned to look at Sprite and Sake. She sighed, and then nodded. "Okay," Aldawen
said. "I forgive you." Legolas handed her a silk handkerchief and Aldawen wiped her eyes. Then suddenly, Aldawen became very
animated. "You guys!" she said excitedly. "Want further proof that I am so not an Elrond fangirl? Listen
to this idea I've got!" She gathered Legolas, Sake, and Sprite around her, and told her them her plan in hushed tones.
you are so very, very evil." Sprite said, grinning.
"Just like you." observed Aldawen. Sprite laughed.
love the idea!" Sake said. "Elrond won't be able to touch us that way!"
"Let's go tell Figwit and
see what he thinks." Legolas suggested. And so they did.
They found Figwit talking with the Twins in the library.
Aldawen told them of their plan, and the reactions were... a bit varied.
"Absolutely not." Figwit said sternly.
Figgy, why not?" asked Sprite.
"He's the Lord of Imladris!" Figwit said. "You can't do something like that to someone
like him! He deserves respect! Hes one of the First Born!"
"Why not?" asked Elrohir. "I think it's a great idea! And
I'm the older Twin, so I'd get to be in charge of Rivendell!!"
"Even if it was only temporary." Sprite pleaded. "Please?"
"Sprite-" Figwit began.
"Figwit, who died and made you the Lord of Imladris?" asked Elladan. "He's my father,
and I say we do it."
"All right, temporarily." Figwit said in a defeated tone.
"YAY!!" Aldawen, Sake, and
Sprite cried together. "Revenge is sweet!"
"But how are we going to go about doing it?" asked Figwit, still sceptical.
"There's a book in here somewhere..." Elrohir said, looking around the library. "I know it has that sort of thing
in it..." The Elf went over to a bookshelf and began scanning the rows of books. "Ah-ha!" he said after an
hour and a half of searching. "Here it is!" He held up a slim blue book, with silver letters embossed on the cover. The cover
read "Learning Magic With Harry Potter!"
"Are you sure it's... reliable?" Sake asked.
Elrohir nodded vigorously.
"Of course! This is where dad gets some of his best stuff!"
Just then, Seamoose came into the library, with Leroy
floating along at his side. "Hey, all." he said. "Made any wicked plots for revenge?"
"As a matter of fact, yes."
Legolas said. "Care to join us in the final stage of Elrond's punishment?"
"What are you going to do to him?" asked
"We're turning him into an action figure!" cried Aldawen.
An hour later, they had collected everything
they needed. Aldawen had gotten the box that had contained the Legolas action figure she had received for Christmas. Elrohir
had found the right spot in the book, and had them all practicing the Shrinking Charm.
"No, no, no." Sprite said to
Sake. "It's 'ELFius ShrinkoNIus', not 'ElfIUS SHRINKonius'!"
"Shut up." Sake said, giggling.
was ready and they all went to Elrond's bedroom. Legolas opened the door, and they filed in. Elrohir stood in front. Behind
him, shoulder to shoulder, stood Aldawen, Sake, and Sprite. Behind them stood Seamoose, Figwit, Legolas, and Elladan.
Dad!" Elrohir said cheerfully, breaking the ominous silence that had filled the room.
"What do you want with me?"
asked Elrond fearfully, huddled in a corner.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Dad." Elrohir said. "But we've decided
that you're a danger to Middle-earth. We need to put into action the final stage of punishment for you."
Elrond. "I'll be good, I promise!"
"Sorry." Elrohir said. He pointed his finger at Elrond and cried, "ELFIUS
SHRINKONIUS!!!!" There was a flash of light, and then silence.
[At this point, the editor would like to point
out that the complete and utter absence of wands has nothing to do with an Elfie's power, and that the lack of wands is the
reason why the elves in the room where the fangirls were practicing didnt shrink.]
"He's gone!" Aldawen said, looking
at the corner where Elrond had been huddling.
"Not quite." said Elrohir. He went over to the corner, and picked something
up. "He just fainted." he said, showing them the six-inch Elf.
"EEE!" squealed Sake. "Mini-Elrond!" The fangirls burst
Elrohir placed the unconscious Elrond on a table by the window. "Aldawen?" he said. "The box." Aldawen
came over to the table, followed by the rest of the gang. Elrond woke up and looked up at all of them. He leapt to his feet,
looking around wildly. "Everything..." he said in a high, squeaky voice, "Everything's so big!" And he fainted again.
opened the box and carefully placed Elrond's prone figure into it. She then closed the box, because they had already punched
air-holes into it.
Aldawen finished and looked up at the rest of them.
"Well, that was strangely satisfying!"
she said, and they all agreed.