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Part Nine
The Elfie-Boys
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Legolas vs. Figwit: The Ultimate Battle
The Elfie-Boys and Their BIG Egos
Legolas, Figwit, and the Liquor Cabinet of DOOM
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In which all is revealed...

When Sprite and Figwit arrived back at their room, they found Elladan, Elrohir, and Glorfindel waiting for them. The Twins looked rather sheepish, and Glorfindel appeared to be in a rather sour mood.

"There you are," Glorfindel said, his tone indicating that he'd been waiting for quite some time. "Come, we're going to Legolas's room."

"Why?" Figwit asked.

"We were just there!" Sprite added. "The door is blocked by a mob of fangirls."

There was a pause. "Oh?" Said Glorfindel quietly. "We'll see about that." He took each of the Twins by a shoulder and propelled them down the hallway. The Twins, curiously, remained silent.

Figwit glanced at Sprite and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged, and the two followed Glorfindel and the Twins back the way they'd come.

There seemed to be a rather tense silence surrounding the three Elves in front of them, and Sprite had to wonder what was going on. She had a rather uneasy feeling that it had something to do with everything that had been happening lately, but she sincerely hoped that it didn't.

After a few uneventful moments, they arrived once again outside Legolas's door, and lo, the fangirls were still there. Several of them seemed momentarily distracted by the arrival of three more devastatingly handsome Elves, but they quickly turned their attention back to what really mattered to them, namely the closed door. They were clustered tightly around it, offering no way through for the Elves and Sprite.

Glorfindel surveyed the crowd for a moment. Then- "You will let us pass," he said, his voice low and firm.

Only the girls closest to him seemed to hear him, and they glared at him angrily. Their unrest spread through the crowd, and soon all the girls were paying Glorfindel at least partial attention.

"You will let us pass," he repeated.

"And if we do not?" A voice cried out defiantly.

"Then you will taste my blade." Glorfindel warned in the same quiet voice. Sprite found his countenance terrifying; she wondered why it did not affect the other girls. Then again, they were Mary-Sues. Probably they were too stupid to see danger in front of their perfect noses.

Many of the fangirls' hands immediately flew to their own swords, which appeared at their sides even if they had worn no swords a moment before. Sprite rolled her eyes. Typical Sue trick.
Glorfindel drew his blade and held it above his head, his eyes blazing. He spoke again, his voice loud this time, commanding and terrifying.

"Any of you here," he cried, "who would be foolish enough to hinder my mission, shall find yourself answering to Mandos!" He seemed to glow with power. Sprite saw him then for a moment as he is upon the other side: one of the mighty First-Born, an Elf-lord of a House of Princes. It was a sight she never forgot.

It was clear that the fangirls would never forget it, either, though for them it would be the stuff of nightmares. They took one look at the raw fury in Glorfindel's eyes and bolted, leaving the way to Legolas's door clear.

Glorfindel lowered his sword and turned to his companions, all of whom were staring at him with wide eyes. "Well!" he said cheerfully. "That's got rid of them! Shall we?" He gestured towards the door. The Twins, Figwit, and Sprite nodded mutely.

Glorfindel swaggered up Legolas's door and tried the handle. It was locked, of course. He rapped sharply against the door with his knuckles. "Legolas, open up!" he called. "It's Glorfindel!"

The door opened a crack and Legolas peered out. "They're gone?" he whispered, hardly daring to believe his eyes. He flung the door open wider. "They're gone!" he cried, and did a little jig.

"Yes, they are," Glorfindel said. "Now get back inside before they come back." He pushed Legolas back into his room, and beckoned Figwit, the Twins, and Sprite to follow.

Once they were all in and the door was safely shut, Glorfindel turned to Legolas, Figwit and Sprite.
"Now," he said, with forced cheerfulness. "I believe the Twins have something to say to you all." Sake, who'd been on the couch, sidled up to Legolas, and Aldawen even poked her head out of her bedroom door.

The Twins looked at the floor and shuffled their feet. "Um..." said Elladan.

"Well, you see..." said Elrohir.

"The thing is.." said Elladan.

"This may come as a bit of a shock..." said Elrohir.

"I think you ought to know..." said Elladan.

"You may want to sit down..." said Elrohir.

"Kindly get on with it," said Glorfindel icily.

"Ummmmm..." the Twins said. "WelostElrondsorryitwon'thappenagain."

"You WHAT?" Legolas shouted. Aldawen quietly stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her. Sprite noticed her, and wondered why she looked almost guilty.

"How did you lose Elrond?" Figwit asked furiously.

"Tell them, boys," Glorfindel said, smiling.

"Uh..." Elladan began, and looked wildly at his twin for help.

Elrohir took a deep breath, his face full of the steely resolve of a warrior facing certain death. "Well... We hid him in the back of your liquor cabinet, Figwit, and we were only going to keep him there a few days before we found a better hiding place so we just hid him there, you see, and when we went back to find him, he, um, he wasn't there." He looked askance at Figwit. "You didn't drink him, did you?" Figwit glared at him. There was a moment of very tense silence.

"Um... We're sorry?" Elladan offered.

"Sorry is not going to cut it this time," Glorfindel said. "We have a major problem on our hands. If Arwen gets wind of it, we're all dead."

"I hear Mandos Halls is really great this time of year..." said Elrohir weakly.

"Been there, done that, got sent back because I threw too many wild parties," Glorfindel said briskly. "What I think we need to do is find Elrond and bring him back, full size and everything." Figwit nodded.

"What?" exclaimed Sake. "Why?"

"So many things have gone wrong since we shrunk him," Figwit told her. "He used to be able to control the rats, and keep the fangirls out of Rivendell. With him gone, Imladris is overrun. We need him to maintain order!"

"A healthy level of chaos never hurt anyone," Sake muttered sulkily.

"Except this is exceeding healthy," Glorfindel said.

"The problem," Sprite said slowly, "is that we have no idea where Elrond could be. He could be anywhere! He's so small, it'd be easy for him to hide."

"Yep, that's the problem," Legolas said.

"Oh, gee, darn," Sake said sarcastically. A brief silence fell as they all thought about what could be done.

"I know where Elrond is," came a quite voice from the corner of the room. They all looked over and saw Aldawen standing there.

"Aldawen?" asked Legolas. "What did you say?"

"I said I know where Elrond is!" she repeated, louder, staring back at them all defiantly, as if daring anyone to contradict her.

"Sure, yeah," Sake retorted. "You haven't left your room all day. Who told you, a little mouse?"

"For you information, he was a rat," Aldawen snapped.

Sake opened her mouth to fire back a scathing reply, but Glorfindel silenced her with a look. He approached Aldawen and smiled at her. "Come, Aldawen, tell us," he said gently. "How do you know where Elrond is?"

Aldawen had a feeling that they were just humouring her, that they didn't really believe her, and it annoyed her greatly. "I'm telling the truth!" she said angrily. "I don't know how it happened, or why, but this rat with a sword came into my room a little while ago and said that he was from some sort of secret police of rats and they found Elrond and brought him to their city and he's going to be crowned king of the rats tomorrow."

"Well, if that isn't the biggest load of-" Sake began, but Elrohir interrupted her.

"I've heard tell," he mused, nodding, "that a city of rats live between the walls and below the floors of Imladris. Rats who have lived so long among they Elves that they have developed an intelligent society of their own..."

"If Ada becomes their king, we're screwed," Elladan said flatly.

"Aldawen," said Sprite, "why did this rat come to you? Did he say?"

Aldawen blushed crimson. "Apparently Elrond wants me to be a spy," she mumbled, though still audibly.

"You didn't accept, did you?" Figiwit asked sharply.

"No!" cried Aldawen. "I mean, I don't know... He twisted my words..." She looked as though she were about to cry. Legolas went over to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

"What we need to do," Glorfindel said, "is to find out where the coronation is happening tomorrow, and intercept it."

"I have an idea," Elladan said. "Coronations are always accompanied by big feasts, right?"

Comprehension dawned on Elrohir's face. "The kitchens!" he cried.

Part Ten