Chapter One
The Elfie-Boys
About the Elfie-Boys
The Others
The Stories
Legolas vs. Figwit: The Ultimate Battle
The Elfie-Boys and Their BIG Egos
Legolas, Figwit, and the Liquor Cabinet of DOOM
Rogue's Gallery
My Page
Contact Me

In which three certain fangirls are terribly hung over.

Sprite opened her eyes and moaned. "Oh, my poor head..." she muttered. "I will never get drunk again..." Yeah right.

So much had happened in the past few days, it had just recently been sorted out. Just yesterday in fact. It all started at the Council, when Figwit had stuck his tongue out at Legolas. The latter Elf had gotten ticked off, and the two Elfie-boys had engaged in a battle to decide once and for all, who was the better Elf.

Sprite managed a smile through her pounding headache. Figwit had really won, even if Elrond had sent the Elfie-boys to their rooms for being naughty. Figgy had gotten the last laugh. No one could deny it.

Anyway, the battle had involved a lot of cat-fighting, split ends, broken nails, kidnapping, and Disney cartoons. But that was just the bad side.

Last night, the three fangirls (one for Figwit, two for Legolas... Ha ha, the others had to share!) had decided to bury the hatchet and be friends. They had decided to celebrate their new found friendship by plundering the Rivendell wine cellars. The hard part, of course, had been bribing the key off Arwen.

"As long as my father doesn't get it," she had told them. "And remember to lock the door when you are done. I don't want a repetition of..." She had shuddered, and refused to say any more.

The girls had indulged in many bottles of fine Elvish wine, and gotten themselves extremely drunk. Sprite recalled one point when Elrond had seen them dancing in the moonlight. Sake had bumped into Sprite, who bumped into Aldawen, and they all fell in a heap on the ground.

"Arwen gave you the key to the wine cellars, didn't she?" asked Elrond, sighing.

"Yesh, m'lord!" said Sake, and the three fangirls giggled.

"That is like, so unfair!" Elrond said, and stomped back towards the house.

"Hey!" Sprite had suddenly said, her eyes widening as she looked at Sake. "Do you know that we're both named after drinks?"

"Oh my god, you're right!" Sake said, and they burst into giggles once again.

"Hey, I wanna be named after a drink too!" Aldawen said, pouting.

"You can be called Grapefruit Juice!" Sake said, and they all laughed.

"Never get drunk again!" Sprite repeated. She rolled out of bed and decided to go find Elrond. If anyone, he would have a cure for hangovers. In the hallway, she met up with Aldawen and Sake, both of whom were clutching their heads in pain.

"Mornin', girls!" Pippin called cheerfully as he strode past. The three fangirls screamed in agony, clutching their heads even tighter. A moment passed.

"I assume that we're all going to Lord Elrond for a cure for our hang overs?" Sprite whispered quietly.

"Sprite," groaned Aldawen, "not so loud!"

They found Elrond in his study, explaining Elvish politics to his magic carpet, Leroy. 'Ah,' thought Sprite, 'Wonderful Leroy...' Leroy was really the one who had brought her and Figwit together. Sprite had him to thank for everything. Well... Maybe not
everything... ;-)

"Elrond..." Aldawen started quietly. Elrond sighed, and rose.

"I have already prepared it." he said, and gave each of them a goblet filled with a turquoise-coloured drink. When they drank it, it cleared their heads almost immediately. They thanked Elrond, and then left the study.

Elrond watched them go. He had noticed how easily they had become drunk; seen how much they loved the wine...

For Elrond was forming a plan. He was just so tired of the Elfie-boys prancing around with their huge egos; he had to make them see that they weren't that great. Of course, millions of fans would say otherwise, but Elrond had even less fans than Legolas and Figwit, so he was also just jealous.

Anyway, Elrond was devising a plan to crush the Elfie-boys' egos. And the first step, of course, was making their favourite fangirls turn against them...

Elrond turned to his medicine cabinet, and took out several unusual ingredients. Leroy scuttled over to him.

"I'm sorry, Leroy," Elrond said. "Elvish politics will just have to wait." Leroy's tassels drooped, and he flew mournfully away.

Meanwhile, Sprite, Aldawen, and Sake walked down the hallway, feeling much more cheerful now that their headaches were gone.

"So, Figwit really won," Sprite was saying. "'Cause he got the last laugh. With his hand-buzzer thingamy."

"You know, I have to agree," Aldawen said. "I mean, I still love Leggikins, but Figwit did win. Besides, he deserved to win, being the underdog and all."

"It's not just that he was an underdog," Sprite replied, "although he hates to be called that. It's just that I think he deserves more attention than he has got in the past."

"Exactly." agreed Aldawen.

Sake, meanwhile, said nothing. She was just happy to be normal again. For most of the past few days, she had been rabid, green, and, most recently, bald. Luckily, Elrond had made a potion thingamy to fix that.

"Where are the Elfie-boys, anyway?" wondered Sprite.

"Oh, I think they went hunting together," Aldawen said. "They want to try to get along from now on. They should be back in a couple of days." Sprite felt slightly hurt that Figwit had not taken the time to say good-bye to her, but she shrugged it off, assuming that he had not wanted to disturb her alcohol-induced sleep.

Later, after lunch, Elrond called the girls. "Would the three of you care to join me for some wine on the veranda?" he asked, smiling serenely. "I have arranged for my sons and Glorfindel to give a little demonstration of Elvish fighting to entertain you while your Elfies...ahm, Elves are away."

"Sure!" said Sake immediately.

"Ok, but not too much wine," Aldawen said. "I don't think I ever want to get drunk again."

"Same here," Sake said.

"Whatever," Sprite said, already downing her third glass.

Elrond led them onto the veranda and watched them drink. Sake and Aldawen were just sipping, and Sprite was going through glass after glass. A triumphant light blazed in his eyes. His plan was working....

Chapter Two